blank'/> Cinema Reviews: Jupiter Ascending? Stop Wachowskis, I want to get off...

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Jupiter Ascending? Stop Wachowskis, I want to get off...

A beautiful failure? I felt that way about Cloud Atlas but not this:p

(I will preface this by saying I had a really shitty experience at the cinema before going in to watch this and I'm certain that colored my viewing)

To be honest, and I realize this is total conjecture, but I just don't think the Wachowski's hearts were in this. They may even be still hurting from the failure of Cloud Atlas.

The production design and look of this film is fantastic, but Andy and Lana have always had a gift for making beautiful images on screen, even as far back as "Bound". The problem here is it's just a convoluted, often confusing muddle - both in terms of story and tone. It took me a while just to work out who were all the different parties involved, who they were working for and what they were after. I understand that this is a stab at a potential franchise, which goes some way to explaining why characters like Doona Bae's are introduced and then promptly ditched, and the inexplicable and jarring scenes of the "Brazil"-inspired bureaucratic nightmare - we are being introduced to worlds we will no doubt be revisiting in the sequels. To me however that's bad storytelling - only introduce what's important for THIS film, not the films that may follow.

On the note of the red tape scenes, I did get a thrill out of seeing director Terry Gilliam play a small and vivid part (and the "Brazil" reference to "27B-6":D). He protests to not being an actor but he's always an interesting and manic energy on screen.

The action scenes are uninspired and tedious. The seven minute chase sequence from 'Grey' aliens just stops the film from moving forward and quite frankly bored me. And I'm sorry but jet-powered shoes are dumb, just dumb. (I liked them in "Guardians of the Galaxy", which suited the irreverent, Buck Rogers tone of that film but here they are clumsy)

Eddie Redmayne is genuinely creepy and unsettling in his role, although the ashen voice is occasionally annoying and the Wachowski's should have pulled him up on his explosive shouting choice (Nearly everyone in the cinema groaned) Seriously though, what the fuck does everyone see in Channing Tatum? Even the bloody Coen Brothers are using this git in their next film! Am I the only one that sees the wooden, emotionless void that is this jumped-up himbo? He was 'there' in "21 Jump Street" and Danny McBride's sex toy in "This is The End" - why does anyone care? (I haven't seen the Jump Street sequel or Foxcatcher) He's a jock who got lucky; it wouldn't surprise me if Hollywood grew him from a skin scraping of Chris Klein.

Mila Kunis is the sole grace of the leads, she is a genuinely warm, solid and engaging presence (Yes, this film made me hot for her, I'll admit it) as Jupiter and a good choice for the central character. Her acting can't hold a flame, however, to Sean Bean who manages to outact everyone else who features in this film in the few scenes he's in. Seriously, I'm worried when complex, real and interesting old guard actors like Bean, Oldman etc. eventually die, who the hell will we be left with? Tatum and Chris Hemsworth? Jezuz, paint the walls with my fucking brains now:p

Sorry, I'm getting off topic now. To sum up: Jupiter Ascending falls flat.

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